After finishing my thesis I ended up taking care of my parents house and our cat. For five days I was gonna be stuck in Exloo, far away from my social life. I decided to set up a small project for myself to keep myself busy. Normally returning to my parents house in Exloo is very therapeutic. But this doesn't mean my emotions and thoughts aren't all over the place. But it always feels good to once again feel connected to myself and nature. This is why I decided I wanted to set up a project about the different emotions I go through while I try and relax. Each day has it's own emotional theme and is worked out if three art forms. These art forms consist of one mixtape, one piece of poetry and a self portrait.
Hereby I invite you to come along on my emotional journey
I always sprint through the labyrint of life
Sometimes I take a right
Other times I take a left
And a lot of times I just go straight
Purely because it’s the easier choice
I often find it hard for my mind to catch up
I will find myself in weird places
Already forgotten how I ended up here
But maybe life is better that way.
You just keep running straight
Until you feel like somethings missing
You try and find your bearings
You decide to take a left for once
Then you take a right for once
And before you know it
Serendipity // the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
DAY 2 // MELANCHOLY
I can feel the evening melancholy creep in around me.
A nightly visitor, he only shows up after the sun has already left.
An unwanted guest, whom I invited over myself.
When the sun sets, I leave the door wide open for him.
Until I can feel the melancholy blue creep in.
He feeds on me until I feel numb
He makes sure there is just enough left of me in the morning.
He is the guard dog.
Whom keeps the other monsters at bay.
Because the other monsters know no rest
Monsters I only know in the form of hunger
A hunger which sends me every way
In hopes of giving me fulfilment
A type of fulfilment I have long forgotten
And in hopes of blessing myself with peace of mind
I take melancholy with me every night
And like a watchdog he fulfils his duties
Until a night comes, when he is no longer needed.
DAY 1 // FRUSTRATION
You wake up to the sound of your alarm
You hit the snooze button one more time
You look out through the window, only to be greeted by a colourless sky
Your morning coffee lacks taste
Your morning cigarette lacks sensation
Your planning has about as much colour as the sky
I haven’t been moved in days
Even the prospect of upcoming parties doesn’t change a thing
There is a sensation in the air
Which oppresses everything
The dark clouds just seems to push everything down
And while it feels like the entire world doesn’t even let out a whisper
Something inside of me screams and burns
While I look for ways to get it out
I just can’t seem to give it an appropriate shape
And in the meanwhile,
It just slowly burns away
